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10 Oct

This is an incredibly common complaint that I hear from men, especially Nice Guys: they’re scared.

buzzfeed dating in your twenties-16

And furthermore, that the people who did these things to me would somehow be morally right to do them—even if I couldn’t understand how.

I left each of those workshops with enough fresh paranoia and self-hatred to last me through another year..

It becomes about making their hurt feelings the center of the debate instead of hey, maybe people shouldn’t act this way.

My recurring fantasy, through this period, was to have been born a woman, or a gay man, or best of all, completely asexual, so that I could simply devote my life to math, like my hero Paul Erdös did.

Anything, really, other than the curse of having been born a heterosexual male, which for me, meant being consumed by desires that one couldn’t act on or even admit without running the risk of becoming an objectifier or a stalker or a harasser or some other creature of the darkness.