Women science and dating

25 Oct

Everyone in the dating game spends untold time, money, and emotional energy trying to find a nice person to chill with on the couch while you both actually watch Netflix — but somehow, most of us still feel like we're striking out constantly. That means thousands and thousands of study subjects have made all kinds of dating mistakes so that you and I don't have to.

Luckily, because of the ubiquity of dating (and researchers' enduring fondness for studying all varieties of mating dances), we have a huge bounty of research to draw on.

A 2010 study with possibly the most resonant title of all time — "Adult attachment and dating strategies: How do insecure people attract mates?

" — researchers asked a question that's been haunting daters since probably forever: If self-assuredness is an attractive quality, how do insecure people date successfully?

It turns out that people that are insecure but romantically successful manage to channel their nervous tics into behaviors that are linked with other, more attractive qualities.

A nervous talker can come across as a brilliant conversationalist, and eagerness to please is easily interpreted as niceness.

The authors point to the book "Quirkology: The Curious Science of Everyday Lives," as the source of this rule.

The researchers set up a series of speed dating events for Stanford graduate students, recorded each individual date, and used software to analyze those conversations.

If you're the kind of insecure person that tends to withdraw behind a wall of jokes, that's fine too — it turns out humor is a great dating tactic. Turns out, the best friend was right: Just go for it.

Curiously, the authors found that insecure people who were able to put a positive spin on things ended up being perceived as Every coming-of-age sitcom for the past... A study of messaging behavior in online dating from the University of California, Berkeley, found that waiting too long to reciprocate a message can backfire.

And the data bears this out — Match, the dating website that also owns Tinder and Ok Cupid, surveyed its users and found that a great first date is a drink or two over the course of a couple of hours.

It makes sense: Alcohol, as most of us know, lowers inhibitions.