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Not long after their relationship ended, Beard began dating NASCAR driver Carl Edwards, who comes off as controlling and jealous in the book.She writes that while their sex life sizzled, Edwards tried to control her, ordering her not to talk to other drivers at his races.Those things just kind of built off each other." Beard started drinking in high school, when she hated her looks and felt unlovable.Adding to her burden was a case of mild dyslexia that made her cry daily and led to grades of Cs and Ds.But even that wasn't much of a refuge after she burst on the international scene by winning two silver medals in the breaststroke events and gold in the relay at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics.Beard hit puberty soon after, going through a growth spurt that added 6 inches and 30 pounds to her slender frame.

Her body's changes made her slower in the water and she lost races, generating whispers on the pool deck and the horrible feeling that she was letting people down.

Beard recounts her ups and downs in the 245-page memoir "In the Water They Can't See You Cry" released this week.

The 30-year-old swimmer traces the cause of her struggles to her parent's divorce when she 12.

Her mother moved out and Amanda lived with her father in their Irvine, Calif., home.

Her two older sisters were already out of the house.