Dating out of pity

13 Apr

She has opportunities for ministry and undivided devotion to the Lord not enjoyed by those who are married.

In our churches those who are single perform much of the influential ministry.

Social convention, parental expectations and individual aspirations mean that being single just feels awkward and embarassing. The opportunities for sin to seize upon this disappointment and for it to become an occasion for resentment and bitterness are very real.

In these painful circumstances some are tempted to try what has characteristically become known as ‘missionary dating’. Believers should not marry unbelievers The Bible is crystal clear on this issue.

Most churches are not awash with young eligible men. There’s a cost to staying and contributing to the gospel work of smaller churches.

The bigger London churches look very attractive to a single 20 something!

Paul doesn’t share our negative view of singleness.

The ‘spinster’ may be a figure of fun, but the great Apostle thinks she’s fortunate.

There are better reasons for male evangelism than providing blokes for our sisters in Christ to marry. There can be times when the emphasis given to male activities or male evangelism in our congregations is unwelcome. It sounds counter intuitive but when there are so many women in church to be catered for, we actually need more male orientated activities. If we keep shaping the church programme to accommodate the girls we need to know what that’ll mean.Therefore what appears to be overwhelming compatibility in our twenties can become an occasion for disagreement and dissension in our forties. We need to help people to resist the temptations to wallow in self pity and to harbour bitterness and resentment when things don’t go as they’d choose.Without being patronising, we ought to sympathise with friends in this situation.But let’s not create the impression that life begins when you get married and everything’s on hold till then.And let’s not allow anyone to suggest that being single is second class.