Rude online dating

24 Jan

When it first began, she says, dating was a way for working-class women of limited means to find husbands.Men had the wages to buy dinner (and, ultimately, a lifetime of financial security), so dating became a way for women to attract male attention and gain access to wealth.“People often end up being bigger assholes than they have to because there’s always this assumption that a woman wants more,” Weigel says.“People treat people they’ve had sex with much worse than they treat people they’ve had a coffee with.It makes no sense that you have to be so rude, but I think it does come out of these expectations, where it’s like ‘Oh, if you spoke to a woman after having sex, she would expect you to father her child.’” Lisa Wade, a sociology professor at Occidental College with a forthcoming book on college hook-up culture, says that this mentality also drives women to become prematurely detached in their sexual relations.

This deep-seated sexism comes alongside various other problematic assumptions—that sex is something women give to men, that women always want relationships, that talking about emotions in connection to sex is “crazy”—that still seem to permeate heterosexual sexual relations.After six years of the security, support, and occasional suffocation that comes with a long-term monogamous relationship, I recently became single for the first time as an adult out of college.I knew dating again would be a strange and possibly emotionally difficult experience after so long with one person.As is often the case with sexism, contemporary attitudes toward sex aren’t great for men either.Contrary to the stereotype, deep down, plenty of men don’t actually want a lot of meaningless sexual encounters.