Dating over age 50

09 Jul

But I soon discovered that most of my single friends were on Tinder. And — better still — I found there were boatloads of men who wanted a date.

I quit my crying, used my self-help books as fire-starters, and booked my first date.

Whether you’ve been dating for a while or you’re re-entering the dating scene after heartache, don’t fear dating after 50.

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Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?

It’s important not to make assumptions in dating, especially in the areas of sexual expectations and gender roles. The way you and your date communicate about and focus on the future will dictate compatibility. Many older daters feel more sexually liberated and confident than in days of their insecure, inexperienced youth. Try to avoid talking about exes on the first date — or at least mention them only in passing and without bitterness. If you’re nervous about meeting a stranger for dinner, opt for a daytime date. Sure, you should show up to dinner solo, but don’t start dating again without letting loved ones know.

Perhaps the greatest difference between dating in your twenties and dating in your fifties is the way you see and talk about the future. Others are paralyzed by body issues and are terrified of being with someone new. Bitterness is often the greatest criticism from older daters. If you’re overwhelmed by someone’s affections, explain that you need to move slowly. Not every person you date has to be “the one.” Besides, there’s no more ticking of that biological clock; instead of dating out of a sense of urgency to marry and have kids, you can slow down and ensure that you’re in a relationship for the right reasons. Tell your friends you’re ready to meet someone, and welcome them to set you up.

It’s not likely to happen like that at this age, and on the rare occasions when it does, the relationship is usually based on nothing more than lust. A mature woman who values herself doesn’t want to date a man who’s a victim or stuck in the past.

Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? She’s going to walk away and find a grownup guy.◊♦◊Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a ‘lid for every pot’, a body type for every guy. Those things are far more important than a Harvard or Yale degree, or whether or not he speaks Mandarin.◊♦◊People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.