Do you do your friend dating guy you like

13 Nov

He moved over to his bed, a twin with a sturdy, wooden frame, and lay down on the crumpled blue and white cloud-print sheet. Directly across from the foot of the bed was a bookshelf housing an impressive collection of horror novels.

Atop the shelf sat several chess and baseball trophies whose silver sheen had been dulled by dust, and he stared up at them as he tried to process what he had just seen.

He felt, he told me later, a combination of anger, sadness, and confusion.

Seeing that toddler trussed up and in pain confirmed something he’d long suspected but now had to acknowledge.

If I had looked at the relationship itself clearly, I would have seen that it was a mediocre relationship that had some good moments at the beginning, but there was no future.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to be that honest with myself.

She said that I was a great guy, but she really didn’t see any saving the relationship. Now maybe you’re thinking that hooking up with the first girl I could find was a taking the low road, but the fact was that I felt so worthless, ineffective and unwanted that I guess I just needed to know that someone out there found me desirable. I lacked the confidence back then to know that how others respond to me is secondary to how I see myself.

I began getting wrapped up in my own fears, worries and what it meant about me.

I needed to learn these life lessons and she wanted a different type of guy in her life.

So in your situation, I would recommend the same thing: A frank, to-the-point conversation – it’s not working anymore, I don’t see it getting better, you’re great, but I want to break up.

Still, we saw each other a few times, hooked up and spent some really amazing time together. We sent a couple messages back and forth over break, then out of the blue, she called me and asked for my thoughts on us being exclusive.

If it were today, I would have said “not at the moment” (in the nicest way possible), but for some reason I said, “Sure.