Dating after divorce with young kids

19 Aug

Every divorce will affect the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry.

But kids also can come out of it better able to cope with stress, and many become more flexible, tolerant young adults.

The most important things that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time are: Adults going through separation and divorce need support — from friends, professionals, clergy, and family.

But don't seek support from your kids, even if they seem to want you to.

Most kids will feel they're to blame even after parents have said that they're not.

So it's vital for parents to keep giving this reassurance.

So reassure them that it's OK to wish that mom and dad will reunite, but also explain the finality of your decisions.

Here are some ways to help kids cope with the upset of a divorce: Consistency and routine can go a long way toward providing comfort and familiarity that can help your family during this major life change.

Remember that kids don't need to know all the reasons behind a divorce (especially if it involves blaming the other parent).That's why it's common and very natural for some kids to hold out hope that their parents will someday get back together — even after the finality of divorce has been explained to them.Mourning the loss of a family is normal, but over time both you and your kids will come to accept the new situation.The discussion should fit the child's age, maturity, and temperament.But it should always include this message: What happened is between mom and dad and is not the child's fault.