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10 Mar

As people age, they naturally grow less inclined to seek out relationships that are more casual. After you turn 33 or so, staying out past 10 on a school night becomes much more rare.) Also, as we age, the pool of eligible people shrinks, and with it so do the number of opportunities to meet people in the ways people met people in their twenties (well, before Tinder existed): through friends, at parties, at bars, at work, in grad school, wherever.There's something really comforting to know that, in fact, there are actually tons of people out there who are age-appropriate and are looking for the same thing you are.Tinder is "stupid and harmful because it only makes romantic human connection harder." It is also "a factory and you shouldn't pretend it's even vaguely romantic." And let's not forget that "the adult consequence of living with one’s decisions doesn’t really exist when the next best thing is only a swipe away."Most of the discussion around Tinder has focused on its core demographic: twentysomethings, gay and straight, in urban areas (New York and Los Angeles, where I live, are its two biggest markets), who seem to use Tinder to hook up, boost or masochistically deflate their ego, and/or issue sweeping, usually disparaging pronouncements about everyone they've ever encountered on it.But I've now come to realize that even though all of the press around Tinder focuses on its popularity with twentysomethings, it's actually the perfect app for someone in their thirties, or older, to find love.Given that we didn’t suckle at that digital teat so early on like Millennials, we’re not going to live and die by whether we change our relationship status. Get this: I’m not even FB friends with the guy I’m currently seeing. I did get a glimpse of his page when he left it open one day, and I did take a gander at his ex, but I found it so stressful that I closed out of it immediately. If she’s gotten this far on her own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind her, she’s been through enough ups and downs to know she can handle just about anything.And she knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. And whereas younger women are putting you through the paces to see if you can provide her with a life, an identity, and a future, an older woman already knows who she is and what she wants to do—she’d just love someone to share it with.Terri Trespicio is a media personality & lifestyle expert. Why Friendships Are the New Marriage Not Every Child-Free Woman Is Going to Change Her Mind Why I’m Glad I Didn’t Find My Husband At Princeton ###Presented by Signup for free online dating.

And I could appreciate it when it was my turn to take care of someone else.” The general consensus on cougardom is not so much a specific age as it is who you date.

As might someone who’s 55 and dating a 30 year old. And someone who was impossibly needy at 25 may be even moreso at 35, especially if she hasn’t had the relationships she’s wanted.

There is, however, some considerable perspective and confidence that comes with age, and the more evolved woman will exude it.

American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ”intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind”. SOURCE: Why Women Lose the Dating Game I see a poetic yet depressing symmetry in this: the women who rejected the introverted, budding alpha in their 20s now seek them in their 30s—but can’t have them because they’re dating younger, more attractive versions of themselves. Courtship really is a harsh petri dish of evolutionary psychology.

She acknowledged ”there was no good reason to end things”, yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. The other point being made in the article is that many women who spend their 20’s becoming powerful and independent (education, salary, etc.) often end up unhappy in their 30s.